[OOC] Profile
Player Information
Name: Nyx
Journal:![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
badgal
Contact: gilded chrysanth [AIM];![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
missbiondetta
Character Information
Character Name: Claudia Hortensia Kotomine
Character Series: Fate/
Character Age: Roughly 26 - 28
Character Gender: Female
Alternate Universe
Canon Point: End of written history
Background Link: All the canon information available. Fleshed-out background written for another app:
Claudia's history is the same as is outlined above, up until the point where Kirei informs her that he couldn't love her and says goodbye to her. Here, rather than Claudia killing herself in front of him in a final attempt to make him feel something, she hesitates in making that snap decision and misses her chance to do so. Her fate and Kirei's are reversed—he commits suicide, and she receives the Command Seals just days later.
Claudia, of course, was devastated by what occurred and blamed herself for faltering and allowing it. Her desire to atone for her cowardice made it a simple matter to convince her to participate in the Holy Grail War, once the situation was explained to her. This way, she could devote herself to the Church's interests once again. As she only had a few weeks left to live if left unaided, the Mage's Association sent a number of healers to repair her body. Though her body was damaged past the point where it could be repaired completely, they were at least able to make her functional again, and in the end her health was better than it had been in years.
As the Church had decided Tokiomi Tohsaka was the magus that should be allowed to obtain the Holy Grail, she was sent to study under him, traveling to Japan along with her young daughter Caren. That she had no magic circuits presented something of a problem, but this was solved through the use of spiritual surgery. A system of circuits was grafted onto her using this method, and though she never quite managed to master any sort of magecraft beyond the level of mediocre, it was better than nothing. The bandages she wore made it easy for her to conceal the Command Seals, and as a result Tokiomi thought it best to hide her status as a Master, the relationship between them presented as nothing more than teacher and student to others.
She trained under him for three years, she and Caren living alongside his family during that time. She struck up a friendship with his wife, Aoi, and grew fond of their children, Rin and Sakura. She also met Kariya Matou, briefly, though not enough to be more than vaguely acquainted with him. She was present when Sakura was sent to live with the Matou family, and though she had some misgivings, she decided it wasn't her place to comment on it. And though she didn't understand the extent of what Sakura was subjected to by Zouken, those misgivings intensified at the lack of contact between Sakura and her birth family. She stayed silent on the matter and didn't acknowledge it at the time, but that was when she first began to have doubts about whether or not Tokiomi truly deserved the Grail.
When it finally came time for the Grail War to begin, Claudia summoned a Servant of the Assassin class. Assassin was a slight anomaly in the system, not truly bearing the name of Hassan-i Sabbah like the others, but she was still within an acceptable margin. Because of her wide range of skills, Tokiomi decided it would be best to use her as an Assassin was meant to be used—she would kill Masters from the shadows while the much flashier Servant Tokiomi planned to summon drew their and their Servants' attention. Unlike in canon, there was no faked schism between master and student, and Claudia continued to keep her status as a Master concealed, even though by now most of the bandages she wore were merely props.
With her Servant summoned and hostilities nearly begun, Claudia sent Caren back to Italy to stay with her relatives for the duration of the War. Tokiomi summoned his own Servant shortly thereafter—Gilgamesh, an Archer-class Servant. Though Tokiomi declared they had already won upon summoning him, Claudia was more ambivalent; while the Servant was certainly powerful, his arrogance grated. However, she once again concluded it wasn't her place to comment. That she was to move to the church in town and assist the War's supervisor—her father-in-law, Risei Kotomine, as a matter of fact—in the guise of a civilian might have influenced her decision some, as she figured she wouldn't have to interact with him much at all.
From there, the Holy Grail War began as Holy Grail Wars tend to—with fighting. Shortly after the War's official beginning, a brawl occurred, involving all the Servants barring Caster and Claudia's Assassin. With the attention of the other participants drawn away, she ordered Assassin to attack one of the few Masters that was a safe distance away from his Servant—Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi. With Assassin's ability to conceal her presence and his Servant nowhere near enough to protect him, he was killed quickly.
This was, of course, the first time Claudia ever killed a person, even if indirectly. She had done her best to mentally prepared herself for what her role required, but the action still shook her. Afterward, she spoke with Risei for comfort and then decided to spend the evening praying in private. Her attempts to seek God's guidance were, however, interrupted by Gilgamesh. He declared that he was bored of Tokiomi and ignored her when she told him to leave and stop drinking all the wine, and then they had a "nice" conversation about the worth of pursuing one's own desires over simply following orders.
From there, the War continued to escalate. At the same time, Claudia's opinion of Tokiomi sank. It was obvious to her now that Servants were individuals with their own personalities, hopes, and desires, and as such she could find no justification for the way he intend to simply use Gilgamesh and Assassin as pawns and eventually kill them when they were no longer needed—especially not when his end goal was magical knowledge. And yet assisting him was the Church's orders, so she kept her objections to herself and merely stewed over them in private.
It soon came to the attention of Risei that Caster and his Master were killing a large number of children, and a bounty of sorts was placed on his head. The person to stop him would receive one additional Command Seal from the supervisor. Claudia, of course, couldn't leave a child murderer alone to do as he pleased, so though she didn't care much about the Command Seal or however Tokiomi intended to take advantage of the situation, she spent her time searching for signs of him and his activities with Assassin. However, she wasn't able to find any conclusive evidence and track him down. She and Gilgamesh had another one of their "pleasant" conversations during this time.
The situation soon came to a head when Caster decided to utilize his Noble Phantasm, encasing himself in a gigantic Eldritch creature and attacking the surrounding area. Along with the other Masters, Claudia and Tokiomi appeared on the scene to deal with the situation, though Gilgamesh's refusal to attack and Berserker's appearance derailed their attempts somewhat. Claudia sent Assassin to search for Caster's Master amongst the assembled crowd of people, intending to kill him herself while she stayed near Tokiomi.
However, before Caster's Master could be located, Kariya appeared to challenge Tokiomi. Though the confrontation went down much the same as it did in canon, Claudia intervened before Tokiomi could set Kariya on fire, saying that he was obviously not a threat and that such an action would have been excessive. Besides, though she didn't know him well, Kariya had seemed like a good man on the occasions she had had the chance to speak with him. The disagreement between Claudia and Tokiomi rapidly escalated, and her disapproval of his plans to use their Servants as simple tools came out.
Abruptly, she realized that she could not support a man whose actions she found morally indefensible, and that she found the Church's judgment in entrusting him with the Holy Grail to be a mistake. So, in the heat of the moment, she used one of her Command Seals to call Assassin back to her and kill Tokiomi herself.
This murder was harder than the first. Not only did she kill a man, but she betrayed both him and the Church in doing so. Even if she had only done what she thought was right—keep something as powerful as the Holy Grail out of the hands of a man so clearly lacking in empathy for others—she broke down and literally cried herself sick. Gilgamesh, having realized the death of his Master, returned to the scene to find Claudia, Assassin, and Kariya still there, but he had no intention of taking any kind of revenge; rather, he seemed to find it amusing that his discussions with Claudia about being more than a good little lamb of the Church lead to her taking a man's life.
From there, she made the decision to ally herself with Kariya, deciding that she trusted him the most of the other Masters. Gilgamesh agreed to hang around, stating that seeing how far Claudia would go for "the greater good" might provide him with some entertainment. So, their first order of business was finding the now orphaned Servant an adequate source of mana.
Personality:
Kirei says his wife was a saint, and his assessment is hard to argue with. Claudia can check off every box on the list—both good and bad. She's patient and forgiving, willing to withstand poor behavior in order to encourage good, but also unwilling to stand up for herself or become angry when she's treated poorly. She's loving and nurturing, willing to care for and support even strangers in their time of need, but she ignores her own wants and needs in the process. And, above all, she's pious, her faith in God and His benevolence boundless and unfailing, and yet at the same time blind to opposing views and even objective failures of the Church. Her unshakable "goodness" becomes a double-edged sword.
Not that most people would realize that at a glance. On the surface, she's just unfailingly sweet and friendly, always willing to offer a kind word or gesture to the people around her regardless or whether she knows them or not. She hates seeing people unhappy, and she'll do whatever it takes to stop them from being such. She's perfectly genuine about this, too—other than simply being nice, she's deeply empathetic, and as such she comes to care for others quickly, easily becoming invested in their personal struggles. Furthermore, she's willing to try to understand the behaviors and motivations of even the cruelest of people, and she's easily moved to tears by the hardships other people have had to endure.
Of course, you can't be a saint without a little self-sacrifice, and Claudia has that in spades, too. In fact, she has a little too much of it. She's perfectly willing to throw away her health, her happiness, and even her life for the sake of other people, taking altruism and turning it into martyrdom. It doesn't help that she can be very impulsive at times. She'll make snap decisions and act without thinking of what far-reaching consequences her behavior might have, instead only focusing on what immediate good she can do. This can lead her to make poor decisions and even break the moral code laid down by the Church, her sense of what's right overriding both law and reason.
Ultimately, her pattern of ignoring her own needs and desires arises from her distorted self-image. She sees herself as worthless and lacking in intrinsic value as a person, utterly insignificant but for her ability to do good for other people, be that on an individual personal level or by fulfilling a role for the Church. She doesn't even hate herself. She would have to care about herself to do that, and if her tendency to run her already fragile body ragged proves anything, it's that she doesn't. This also causes her to blame herself for things that are ultimately beyond her control, since if she can't help others, what use does she have? If only she had been able to do a little more...
Of course, saint or not, she's still a person. She does have negative feelings, and she does want things. However, negativity and desire are both things she suppresses and ignores, and doing something just because it will make her happy isn't something she is capable of without guilt. In her mind, resentment, anger, and want are all selfish emotions that she should be above, regardless of how justified or innocent they are. And when she does feel those things, she is seized with feelings of moral failure. If she was a better person, she wouldn't think that way. How could she be so awful, feeling something like that? In fact, she's so awful that God probably caused whatever made her feel that way to begin with, just to punish her. Which she deserves. Because she's awful. Her looping, self-reinforcing logic makes it hard for her to deal with the issue rationally.
Still, despite her seemingly delicate personality, she has done dangerous work for the Church. She's tougher than she seems at times, and when necessary, she can be unshakably firm—or even cold. The Holy Grail War has only reinforced that tendency; she understands that, for the good of the Church, she may have to kill people who haven't, strictly speaking, done anything wrong. And though that isn't something she will ever do lightly, she's far more prepared to take morally dubious actions for the greater good. She has to be, particularly after her murder of Tokiomi. That isn't a decision she would be able to bear going back on.
Abilities:
Masochistic Pneumatic Automatism Diathesis- Caren was stated to have inherited her psychic ability from her mother. This is basically a rare power that allows a person to act as a radar for demons, as when they're near a person who is possessed, they experience pain and even physical wounds. This can even happen when they're simply around someone whose thoughts and actions are sufficiently "dark" or "evil."
Magecraft- Claudia has had magic circuits grafted onto her, allowing her to perform standard magecraft seen in the Nasuverse. However, she has no real talent for, so while she understands theory, her skills are basic and mediocre.
Physical limitations- Though Claudia is in better shape than she was in canon thanks to the treatment she has received from the Mage's Association's healers, she's still physically weak. She is able to move around and function without pain, and she isn't in any immediate danger of dying, but she can still overexert herself easily. Additionally, she is immunodeficient, so any injuries she receives will not heal properly on their own. Infections are also extremely dangerous to her, and it's noted that even a tiny cut could kill her for this reason.
Name: Nyx
Journal:
badgalContact: gilded chrysanth [AIM];
Character Information
Character Name: Claudia Hortensia Kotomine
Character Series: Fate/
Character Age: Roughly 26 - 28
Character Gender: Female
Alternate Universe
Canon Point: End of written history
Background Link: All the canon information available. Fleshed-out background written for another app:
In many ways, the Claudia's life was already dictated by the circumstances she was born into. Two factors in particular were immensely influential: her family's affiliation with the Holy Church, and the psychic power she was born with. "Masochistic pneumatic automatism diathesis" is an ability that is both rare and given particular value by the Church, as it allows the person possessing it to serve as a demon detector. When the fact that she had been born with it became apparent at the time of her birth, her parents saw it as a blessing that she had the ability to serve the Church in such a unique and vital way. Even though being in the presence of an evil spirit causes a person with Claudia's gift pain, she was never really given any choice otherwise.AU Background:
Which isn't to say her parents didn't care about her or that she was mistreated. She was a happy child, told that she would bear a great burden for the sake of God at a young age, and in reply she threw herself into her training and education with eager enthusiasm. Her body was weak and had difficulty healing, but she refused to let that be a barrier between herself and what she knew to be her purpose in life. Even if it hurt, she wanted to serve that role for the Church, perfectly willing to endure pain for the sake of others.
Her naive resolve was only damaged a little when it came time for her to actually be put to use in that manner. She didn't just feel the pain of people possessed—cuts, bruises, and burns all appeared on her skin as well, with no apparent cause. With her immune deficient body, the wounds remained there long after they would have healed on anyone else, and as a result she spent much of her time cloistered away inside hospitals when she wasn't doing her work. This served only to isolate her from the "real world" and lead to her growing into a sheltered adult. She saw people leading normal lives and came to idealize such as lives without pain and suffering, not really having enough contact with people outside the Church to know otherwise.
But she didn't grow resentful—or, more accurately, she didn't let herself grow resentful. She was performing a great service to God. How could she let something like that make her bitter? She squashed down her negative feelings and denied them even to herself. No wonder her loving family never realized she was unhappy—she never realized she was unhappy herself. Ultimately, she was used until her body broke down beyond repair. Any more than that would kill her. Whether she liked it or not, she was made to retire and told of her last duty to the Church. It was a simple one: get married and start a family.
Of course, the reason for that was the hope that she would pass on her rare ability to her child, but she took the order as an opportunity to start a new life. A happy life—one of those idealized ones she had wondered about as she lay in her hospital bed. Of course, not knowing any other life, she decided she would marry within the Church. This decision proved to cause a few problems, as most of the men she met through those channels seemed to be only interested in her for diathesis. Eventually, she found the man she would marry through a foreign priest introducing her to his son.
Kirei Kotomine wasn't interested in seeing her pass on that valued psychic power of hers. He didn't look on her condition with condescending pity. That was enough to pique her interest in him, so she sought to understand him. Even with naive as she was, Claudia was an empathetic woman and perceptive of other people's moods, so she picked up on things his father and the other people around him missed. He was troubled. She wanted to support him and help him find happiness. And she wanted a happy family of her own, too. So, they married.
Married life wasn't quite as idyllic as she had thought it would be, but she didn't let herself become disenchanted. Kirei confessed that he wasn't like other people and couldn't feel normal emotions, but Claudia only redoubled her efforts to bring him happiness, her faith in him and in God never wavering. Her condition gradually deteriorated, her body become weaker and weaker as she grew sicker and sicker, but she refused to despair at her limited time. And she did have a child with Kirei—a girl named Caren. Caring for a child was difficult with their circumstance, but she didn't let that sour the experience for her. In the end, she was happy, pain or not.
Their marriage only lasted two years. When Claudia was on her deathbed and severely weakened, Kirei confessed that he had been unable to love her—and, therefore, couldn't go on living. Her response was to tell him that she loved him and kill herself in front of him, trying to evoke grief from him in the hopes that this would allow him to see that he could love and that he deserved to live. She died with a smile on her face, believing that he shed tears for her.
Claudia's history is the same as is outlined above, up until the point where Kirei informs her that he couldn't love her and says goodbye to her. Here, rather than Claudia killing herself in front of him in a final attempt to make him feel something, she hesitates in making that snap decision and misses her chance to do so. Her fate and Kirei's are reversed—he commits suicide, and she receives the Command Seals just days later.
Claudia, of course, was devastated by what occurred and blamed herself for faltering and allowing it. Her desire to atone for her cowardice made it a simple matter to convince her to participate in the Holy Grail War, once the situation was explained to her. This way, she could devote herself to the Church's interests once again. As she only had a few weeks left to live if left unaided, the Mage's Association sent a number of healers to repair her body. Though her body was damaged past the point where it could be repaired completely, they were at least able to make her functional again, and in the end her health was better than it had been in years.
As the Church had decided Tokiomi Tohsaka was the magus that should be allowed to obtain the Holy Grail, she was sent to study under him, traveling to Japan along with her young daughter Caren. That she had no magic circuits presented something of a problem, but this was solved through the use of spiritual surgery. A system of circuits was grafted onto her using this method, and though she never quite managed to master any sort of magecraft beyond the level of mediocre, it was better than nothing. The bandages she wore made it easy for her to conceal the Command Seals, and as a result Tokiomi thought it best to hide her status as a Master, the relationship between them presented as nothing more than teacher and student to others.
She trained under him for three years, she and Caren living alongside his family during that time. She struck up a friendship with his wife, Aoi, and grew fond of their children, Rin and Sakura. She also met Kariya Matou, briefly, though not enough to be more than vaguely acquainted with him. She was present when Sakura was sent to live with the Matou family, and though she had some misgivings, she decided it wasn't her place to comment on it. And though she didn't understand the extent of what Sakura was subjected to by Zouken, those misgivings intensified at the lack of contact between Sakura and her birth family. She stayed silent on the matter and didn't acknowledge it at the time, but that was when she first began to have doubts about whether or not Tokiomi truly deserved the Grail.
When it finally came time for the Grail War to begin, Claudia summoned a Servant of the Assassin class. Assassin was a slight anomaly in the system, not truly bearing the name of Hassan-i Sabbah like the others, but she was still within an acceptable margin. Because of her wide range of skills, Tokiomi decided it would be best to use her as an Assassin was meant to be used—she would kill Masters from the shadows while the much flashier Servant Tokiomi planned to summon drew their and their Servants' attention. Unlike in canon, there was no faked schism between master and student, and Claudia continued to keep her status as a Master concealed, even though by now most of the bandages she wore were merely props.
With her Servant summoned and hostilities nearly begun, Claudia sent Caren back to Italy to stay with her relatives for the duration of the War. Tokiomi summoned his own Servant shortly thereafter—Gilgamesh, an Archer-class Servant. Though Tokiomi declared they had already won upon summoning him, Claudia was more ambivalent; while the Servant was certainly powerful, his arrogance grated. However, she once again concluded it wasn't her place to comment. That she was to move to the church in town and assist the War's supervisor—her father-in-law, Risei Kotomine, as a matter of fact—in the guise of a civilian might have influenced her decision some, as she figured she wouldn't have to interact with him much at all.
From there, the Holy Grail War began as Holy Grail Wars tend to—with fighting. Shortly after the War's official beginning, a brawl occurred, involving all the Servants barring Caster and Claudia's Assassin. With the attention of the other participants drawn away, she ordered Assassin to attack one of the few Masters that was a safe distance away from his Servant—Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi. With Assassin's ability to conceal her presence and his Servant nowhere near enough to protect him, he was killed quickly.
This was, of course, the first time Claudia ever killed a person, even if indirectly. She had done her best to mentally prepared herself for what her role required, but the action still shook her. Afterward, she spoke with Risei for comfort and then decided to spend the evening praying in private. Her attempts to seek God's guidance were, however, interrupted by Gilgamesh. He declared that he was bored of Tokiomi and ignored her when she told him to leave and stop drinking all the wine, and then they had a "nice" conversation about the worth of pursuing one's own desires over simply following orders.
From there, the War continued to escalate. At the same time, Claudia's opinion of Tokiomi sank. It was obvious to her now that Servants were individuals with their own personalities, hopes, and desires, and as such she could find no justification for the way he intend to simply use Gilgamesh and Assassin as pawns and eventually kill them when they were no longer needed—especially not when his end goal was magical knowledge. And yet assisting him was the Church's orders, so she kept her objections to herself and merely stewed over them in private.
It soon came to the attention of Risei that Caster and his Master were killing a large number of children, and a bounty of sorts was placed on his head. The person to stop him would receive one additional Command Seal from the supervisor. Claudia, of course, couldn't leave a child murderer alone to do as he pleased, so though she didn't care much about the Command Seal or however Tokiomi intended to take advantage of the situation, she spent her time searching for signs of him and his activities with Assassin. However, she wasn't able to find any conclusive evidence and track him down. She and Gilgamesh had another one of their "pleasant" conversations during this time.
The situation soon came to a head when Caster decided to utilize his Noble Phantasm, encasing himself in a gigantic Eldritch creature and attacking the surrounding area. Along with the other Masters, Claudia and Tokiomi appeared on the scene to deal with the situation, though Gilgamesh's refusal to attack and Berserker's appearance derailed their attempts somewhat. Claudia sent Assassin to search for Caster's Master amongst the assembled crowd of people, intending to kill him herself while she stayed near Tokiomi.
However, before Caster's Master could be located, Kariya appeared to challenge Tokiomi. Though the confrontation went down much the same as it did in canon, Claudia intervened before Tokiomi could set Kariya on fire, saying that he was obviously not a threat and that such an action would have been excessive. Besides, though she didn't know him well, Kariya had seemed like a good man on the occasions she had had the chance to speak with him. The disagreement between Claudia and Tokiomi rapidly escalated, and her disapproval of his plans to use their Servants as simple tools came out.
Abruptly, she realized that she could not support a man whose actions she found morally indefensible, and that she found the Church's judgment in entrusting him with the Holy Grail to be a mistake. So, in the heat of the moment, she used one of her Command Seals to call Assassin back to her and kill Tokiomi herself.
This murder was harder than the first. Not only did she kill a man, but she betrayed both him and the Church in doing so. Even if she had only done what she thought was right—keep something as powerful as the Holy Grail out of the hands of a man so clearly lacking in empathy for others—she broke down and literally cried herself sick. Gilgamesh, having realized the death of his Master, returned to the scene to find Claudia, Assassin, and Kariya still there, but he had no intention of taking any kind of revenge; rather, he seemed to find it amusing that his discussions with Claudia about being more than a good little lamb of the Church lead to her taking a man's life.
From there, she made the decision to ally herself with Kariya, deciding that she trusted him the most of the other Masters. Gilgamesh agreed to hang around, stating that seeing how far Claudia would go for "the greater good" might provide him with some entertainment. So, their first order of business was finding the now orphaned Servant an adequate source of mana.
Personality:
Kirei says his wife was a saint, and his assessment is hard to argue with. Claudia can check off every box on the list—both good and bad. She's patient and forgiving, willing to withstand poor behavior in order to encourage good, but also unwilling to stand up for herself or become angry when she's treated poorly. She's loving and nurturing, willing to care for and support even strangers in their time of need, but she ignores her own wants and needs in the process. And, above all, she's pious, her faith in God and His benevolence boundless and unfailing, and yet at the same time blind to opposing views and even objective failures of the Church. Her unshakable "goodness" becomes a double-edged sword.
Not that most people would realize that at a glance. On the surface, she's just unfailingly sweet and friendly, always willing to offer a kind word or gesture to the people around her regardless or whether she knows them or not. She hates seeing people unhappy, and she'll do whatever it takes to stop them from being such. She's perfectly genuine about this, too—other than simply being nice, she's deeply empathetic, and as such she comes to care for others quickly, easily becoming invested in their personal struggles. Furthermore, she's willing to try to understand the behaviors and motivations of even the cruelest of people, and she's easily moved to tears by the hardships other people have had to endure.
Of course, you can't be a saint without a little self-sacrifice, and Claudia has that in spades, too. In fact, she has a little too much of it. She's perfectly willing to throw away her health, her happiness, and even her life for the sake of other people, taking altruism and turning it into martyrdom. It doesn't help that she can be very impulsive at times. She'll make snap decisions and act without thinking of what far-reaching consequences her behavior might have, instead only focusing on what immediate good she can do. This can lead her to make poor decisions and even break the moral code laid down by the Church, her sense of what's right overriding both law and reason.
Ultimately, her pattern of ignoring her own needs and desires arises from her distorted self-image. She sees herself as worthless and lacking in intrinsic value as a person, utterly insignificant but for her ability to do good for other people, be that on an individual personal level or by fulfilling a role for the Church. She doesn't even hate herself. She would have to care about herself to do that, and if her tendency to run her already fragile body ragged proves anything, it's that she doesn't. This also causes her to blame herself for things that are ultimately beyond her control, since if she can't help others, what use does she have? If only she had been able to do a little more...
Of course, saint or not, she's still a person. She does have negative feelings, and she does want things. However, negativity and desire are both things she suppresses and ignores, and doing something just because it will make her happy isn't something she is capable of without guilt. In her mind, resentment, anger, and want are all selfish emotions that she should be above, regardless of how justified or innocent they are. And when she does feel those things, she is seized with feelings of moral failure. If she was a better person, she wouldn't think that way. How could she be so awful, feeling something like that? In fact, she's so awful that God probably caused whatever made her feel that way to begin with, just to punish her. Which she deserves. Because she's awful. Her looping, self-reinforcing logic makes it hard for her to deal with the issue rationally.
Still, despite her seemingly delicate personality, she has done dangerous work for the Church. She's tougher than she seems at times, and when necessary, she can be unshakably firm—or even cold. The Holy Grail War has only reinforced that tendency; she understands that, for the good of the Church, she may have to kill people who haven't, strictly speaking, done anything wrong. And though that isn't something she will ever do lightly, she's far more prepared to take morally dubious actions for the greater good. She has to be, particularly after her murder of Tokiomi. That isn't a decision she would be able to bear going back on.
Abilities:
Masochistic Pneumatic Automatism Diathesis- Caren was stated to have inherited her psychic ability from her mother. This is basically a rare power that allows a person to act as a radar for demons, as when they're near a person who is possessed, they experience pain and even physical wounds. This can even happen when they're simply around someone whose thoughts and actions are sufficiently "dark" or "evil."
Magecraft- Claudia has had magic circuits grafted onto her, allowing her to perform standard magecraft seen in the Nasuverse. However, she has no real talent for, so while she understands theory, her skills are basic and mediocre.
Physical limitations- Though Claudia is in better shape than she was in canon thanks to the treatment she has received from the Mage's Association's healers, she's still physically weak. She is able to move around and function without pain, and she isn't in any immediate danger of dying, but she can still overexert herself easily. Additionally, she is immunodeficient, so any injuries she receives will not heal properly on their own. Infections are also extremely dangerous to her, and it's noted that even a tiny cut could kill her for this reason.